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"It’s just a coffee," they lie. But the coffee involves two families, a real estate agent's worth of property discussion, a horoscope matching software, and a silent assessment of how the girl pours the tea (does she spill? Is she confident?).

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Auntie Sheila arrives unannounced at 8:15 PM, just as the family is about to eat. The mother immediately panics. She shoves the dinner plates into the oven (to hide them). She then offers Auntie Sheila fresh samosas and chai, pretending they haven't eaten since lunch. The children stare at the closed oven, smelling the roti growing cold. This is the theater of Indian hospitality. It is exhausting, but it is love. Part V: The Marriage Machine No article on Indian family lifestyle is complete without the matrimonial saga. In India, a wedding is not an event; it is a nation-building exercise. The "Suitable Boy" Obsession Once a child hits 23 (or 25 for "late bloomers"), the family's hobby becomes finding a spouse. The mother’s WhatsApp groups become databases of biodata. "It’s just a coffee," they lie